What do Tennis, Sex and Cheeseburgers Have in Common?

My goals in sports are simple.

In running, the goal is to not finish last.

In tennis, the goal is to not fall down.

My tennis partner and I lost on Sunday….in a close match, if you grade on a curve.

Tennis is two thirds mental.  The other third is knowing where to stand on the court.  Both concepts can be challenging.

I enjoyed an episode of mental productivity in a practice doubles session with teammates out on the tennis court just recently.

Went over my grocery list. 

Prioritized my list of things to do.

Thought about what to eat for lunch.

It was hardly provocative, and unfortunately mundane.

Oops!  A tennis ball zipped right on by.  I didn’t even swing.

“Auggh… I missed that ball,” I announced. “I was thinking about food. I should have been thinking about sex, but Nooooooo,  I had to be thinking about food.”

Raucous laughter faded into a thoughtful silence on the court.

Then my teammate Lisa missed one. 

“I’m sorry I missed that,” she said. “I was thinking about eating a cheeseburger off the chest of a naked man.’


That did it.

Tennis ended.

We adjourned for lunch.

I went to Burger King and got a Whopper.


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