How to Avoid Wardrobe Malfunctions in Sports. #1 – On Swimming Naked

Disclaimer:  This advice is not based on personal experience.  I repeat:  This advice is NOT based on personal experience.  It actually happened to a friend, and SHE passed it along to me. 

Also:  This advice is directly mostly to women.  Men don’t see the need to avoid wardrobe malfunctions, and actually hope they happen to women. 

Word to the wise: If you are skinny dipping in mixed company, especially on a public beach, especially at Waikiki Beach in
Honolulu, in front of the Hilton, make sure the clothes you shed to do the dipping are easy to put back on when you get out of the water.

 You likely will not have a towel, because most episodes of skinny dipping are done with no planning.  Especially group dips.  Especially after attending a party where rum runners were served.  Lots of rum runners.  With yummy extra rum floaters on top. 

 You may think that you will never have an inclination to take off most or all of your clothes and run naked or nearly naked into the warm Pacific Ocean in front of members of the general public who may be strolling by.  Or police officers, who looked…errr…will likely look the other way.  You’ll be having fun paddling around out there….maybe even be a little amorous with your partner.   But eventually you will have to get out of the water and put your clothes back on. 

You are going to be wet, sandy and salty.  And sticky and yucky.  And naked. 

If you think there is a chance you’ll be skinny dipping on a given night, avoid wearing anything with sticky zippers, tricky buttons, hooks or snaps and hard to reach closings.   Don’t wear anything tight or see through.    True – you were previously naked as the day you were born, but a big wave of modesty will hit you when you get out of the water.  You will really want to get dressed quickly.  Skinny dipping sounded like a great idea earlier in the evening, but the fun fades quickly if you can’t get your clothes back on.  It’s mighty cold and lonely when you are the only one standing on the beach naked.

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