Ummm…I just happened to be in the neighborhood..say, are you busy tonight?

portalets.jpgportalets.jpgRecently, MSN.com posted a handy dandy tip sheet detailing offbeat places where women can meet men.  The reason they are offbeat is because women don’t want to go to these places to meet men.   I have offered other options.

MSN: Frequent Flyer Lounge at an Airport – You drive all the way to the airport.  Find an expensive place to park.  Go through 25 security check-points.  Disrobe and take your shoes off to get to the gate.  And then find an airline lounge you won’t get kicked out of.  And to top it off, you can’t do any of these things without actually buying a plane ticket.  Sorry guys.  Not  worth it. 

ANOTHER OPTION:  A men’s room in a public area of a crowded airport 

MSN: The nearest bar to the sports arena during or after a big game. – Sorry ‘bout this one too.  Men don’t go to sports bars to meet women.  They go to sports bars to watch sports. 

ANOTHER OPTION:  On the field during a sports event – “oh you mean this is not the way to the ladies room?” 

MSN: In line at the DMV – Puh-leese !   That’s a place of dread.  Now, put in a little margarita bar, some salsa music….oh yeah…we’re at the Driver’s License place….reckon serving margaritas in one would send out the wrong message… 

ANOTHER OPTION:  A margarita bar…with a little salsa music 

MSN: A store’s flat screen TV section:  Unless you are 72-inches wide and wearing a tag that says HDTV,  you don’t stand a chance trying to compete for a man’s attention when he’s surrounded by the televisions of his dreams 

ANOTHER OPTION:  None.  You just can’t compete with a TV 

MSN: Jury Duty:  Yeah….bribe the attorneys to select only the cute ones to serve – never happens.  You only get the little grannies and pimply faced kids.   

ANOTHER OPTION:  Prison.  Inmates are happy to have a little somethin’ on the outside….errr…so I have heard 

MSN: Your local hardware store for meeting handy guys who can build things.  I actually met a man in a hardware store one time.  The shelves in my closet had collapsed off the walls so I went off to the local hardware big box store in search of some tools to re-install them.

H.M. (Hardware man):  What are you going to do with that hammer?

Me:  Re-build the shelves in my closet

H.M.: That’s something I can do for you.

Me: OK

So he comes over to my house and since I was scheduled to be at a meeting for work later in the afternoon, I told co-workers that a man was there installing shelves in my closet, and then it occurred to me THERE WAS A STRANGE MAN IN MY CLOSET!

But he finished without incident, and I got out my checkbook and asked him how much I owed him.

H.M. Just go out for a drink with me and we’ll call it even.

Me: How does $50 sound?

H.M. That’ll be fine 

He must have read in a column somewhere that a good place to meet women is in a hardware store. 

P.S.  The shelves fell down again a few days later. 

ANOTHER OPTION:  The portalets at a construction site.

portalets.jpg

   

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3 thoughts on “Ummm…I just happened to be in the neighborhood..say, are you busy tonight?

  1. Another option is for you to find a pool with a lifeguard you want to meet and then show him your poor stroke and pretend to need help.

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