The Ballad of the Balloon Boy

It was a clear blue cloudless Colorado October Day

I was over at the Walmart, just shoppin’ all my blues away

Across the parking lot comes floatin’ by a tin foil covered plate of pie

And it looked like a popcorn popper floating across the sky

I remembered that all day I hadn’t had a single thing to eat

But forgot about it as the foil plate bobbled high above the street

Well I jumped into my truck and turned the a.m. station way up loud

As I gunned the engine, the sight had caused a stir and drawn up a big old crowd

Well, I dodged around the folks who had come out of the store just to stare

And the radio announcer said folks, we have ourselves a scare

But I just kept my eyes on the sky and drove like mad

As that large inflated tin foil pan carried a tiny lad

Well according to the news that boy’s papa was crying and wishin he was dead

Seems he didn’t see his young’n climb aboard when he turned his head

Now the kid’s inside and the balloons real high and it looks like he’s gone for good

But I still kept on driving keeping the balloon lined up with my hood

As I turned into a curve I caught a glimpse of a dark head of hair

And then somewhere in the sky an object launched itself into the air

Well the police were called, the sheriff came, and called out the national guard

Nothing else was going on, so the newsmen didn’t have to try too hard

Schools let out, and traffic stopped all across our local mountain pass

I ran through a red light, sped along, and kept my foot down on the gas

Well the balloon came down somewhere in a rocky field

And authorities expected to look inside and find that little boy killed

Well his parents were just pitching fits, and crying wailing all day long

But a sheriff’s deputy came on the news and said something’s wrong

The balloon bottom’s empty and there’s no kid to be found

So what happened to the fellow? Did he fall like a stone and hit the ground

Well I remembered seeing something fall through the sky along the way

So I phoned the news and told them I had something to say

Well I was on the airwaves all afternoon describing what I saw

And everyone was asking me if what fell out of the balloon was all

It was all over the network channels, cable and radio

And then something happened that caused a massive crash in the flow

From somewhere in his home the little boy emerged and he’s just fine

Never mind, said his father, the kid was hiding all that time

Well the dad turned out to be a hobby weatherman

A magician too, he demonstrates a cagey kind of sleight of hand

He is a smooth-talkin storm chasing good ol’ boy who’s seeking fame

Looking for publicity and lights to spell out his name

Well there’s war in the east, we are broke and can’t pay our bills

Might as well chase a phantom boy across the Colorado Hills

Well it turned out the whole affair was just a big ol’ joke by the dad

We never had a lick of sense anyway, so why be mad

I’ll never live it down that I reported something falling from the sky

But I’m not the only person fooled the world caught on and we can’t cry

The dad and mom are going to jail so I guess the joke’s on them

But that boy will be forever known as balloon boy till the end of time


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